1. A. Today I learned that diarrhea is hereditary. Why is the life expectancy of ophthalmologists longer than urologists? Because it was afraid of its bark! Q. 1.Why do people fall asleep in the bathroom? Whos there? The bathroom is over there on your left. Drink two of them and youll forget what your Namath. 3. Police were called to a sperm bank yesterday, after the receptionist was reportedly shot in the face. And not surprisingly, kids love poop jokes. We've collected the best of urine sample jokes and puns just for you. It never came out! He just couldnt budget. "Honey, I've got bad news. Where do sheep like to play? 2. little Johny replied, "Your drinking out of the bottle tonight". Why cant you hear a psychiatrist using the bathroom? WebPee Pee Jokes, Pissy Humor, Wee Wee Puns Urine Luck! He was given a ticket for making a ewe turn. What is funny however, is some of the madness going on in the world because of the Covid-19, the toilet paper hoarding, the stockpiling of groceries and don't forget the new Coronavirus WebA man walks into a bar and says to the barman: You see that glass at the other end of the bar? ", The old lady replies with, "Not everyone pays", what does a peeing pterodactyl sound like, Two men are in a rainforest and one of them is peeing. 25. The volcano exploded because it couldnt find a lava-tory. I apologize in advance as this isn't exactly a joke, but whenever my son (23) asks me this question, I always answer with a wildly incorrect age. What is crunchy and says meow? In memory of my Dad, heres his favorite joke: Whats the difference between roast beef and pea soup? 44. A guy walks into the urologist's office carrying a console and says, "Doc, I think there's something wrong with my wii.". What do you call a fairy that uses the toilet? Where's the p, 5. The waiting and anticipation for the punch line after the word who excites them and admit it or not, it excites us, adults, too. Nowadays, poop has already been normalized. 2. School your ass. I just hate when theyre too corny or run on. Why was Eeyore down the toilet? The reason some politicians like to stand on their record is to keep voters from examining it. Why did one woman bring toilet paper to the birthday party? A. Haha, you just said poo-poo! Yeah, they got him on possession. What did the guy call it when he dropped his ED drugs? A. MyCocksaFloppin. Not a joke Wear Depends! What did one DNA say to the other DNA? The teacher asked her student to say the alphabet , Ecology teacher: does anyone know how to pronounce the name of this bird? Best Poop Jokes and Puns. A. A salad shooter. Q. 23. There you go," said the nurse as she handed her a urine cup. A. I actually like poop jokes. What is funny however, is some of the madness going on in the world because of the Covid-19, the toilet paper hoarding, the stockpiling of groceries and don't forget the new Coronavirus Love sharing with your friends and family? How can you tell youre getting old? Why did the soldier refuse to flush the toilet? I guess you could say its a pet peeve. 7. The man takes out his fake eye and bites it. Go Broncos! Q. Gifted. Then I had probably the biggest vowel movement ever. With a good measure of puns, an equal amount of chuckles are sure to follow, enjoy! You didn't pass Q. You mix up two letters and your whole post is urined. Did you hear they arrested the devil? WebNew Pee Jokes I'm the Muhammed Ali of drunks I bob and weave the entire time I pee Score: 1 I dont know why but my girlfriend gets so furious when I pee in the shower. Q. What do women and toilet paper have in common? Which I immediately followed up with, "Yeah it was. I ate four cans of alphabet soup yesterday. What do you call a non-religious urologist? There you go," said the nurse as she handed her a urine cup. Theyll make your cheeks hurt. The next day the old man and his lawyer show up to the IRS office and the man there says,So weve noticed these large sums of money entering and leaving your account nonstop. the crustacean accused of promoting his own shellfish interests? It got stuck in the crack! I was calling the hospital, but it seems they were busy. I bet you 20,000 I can bite my other eye. The agent thinks a minute and realizing the man isnt blind, takes the bet. A. Urine trouble with your wife. 4. Depends. He says he just can't come. A urinarrator. Because he was looking for Pooh! 52. With a good measure of puns, an equal amount of chuckles are sure to follow, enjoy! I proudly proclaimed Urine luck! There you go," said the nurse as she handed her a urine cup. The Singer Once Opened Up about Wanting to Start a Family, Rich Orosco: 4 Facts about the Entertainment Industry Veteran, Elderly Couple Is Led by a Cat to a Black Bag, Sees a Tiny Hand Hanging from Inside Story of the Day, Veteran Loads His Old Truck with Food Every Night, Never Misses a Day for over 20 Years, After Old Mans Death, Son Returns to His House and Hears Sounds from Abandoned Garage Story of the Day, A man goes into a library and asks for a book about Pavlovs dogs and Schrodingers cat. Nobel who? 99. 75. Please fill in your e-mail so we can share with you our top stories! Can't you pee that you're pissing your mother off? A. Inverted P Waves. The Superbowl! My father is allergic to cotton. Why are there no bathrooms in some banks? The bathroom is over there on your left. Knock, knock. A. Where do bees go to the bathroom? Wanna hear a poop joke? Patty OFurniture. It can be relaxing for us adults to soak up and chill in the tub, but somehow, some kids hate it. What do you get when you cross a polar bear with a seal? Where does a winemaker get his gossip? What's the difference between a podiatrist and an urologist? Why is #1 yellow? 4. Why did the rooster cross the road to go to the urinal? Poop who? Keep smiling and join us on Social, we'd love to have you over. Q. It leaked so they had to release it early. 10 facts about Diarrhea. She said she didnt feel a thing! A hardened criminal. Are you looking for more? What do a man with diarrhea and an electric car owner have in common? Just a little. Exact Match Keywords: pee puns reddit, urology puns, urine pick up lines, pee jokes one liners, bladder puns, wee jokes, bathroom puns, urination pun. What did the convenience store clerk say to the customer who asked if they had a public restroom? The frat boys thought about it and one shouted out,"I wish Give a man a fish, and he will eat for a day. At the BP petrol station! Nah, they always stink. What did the Urologist say to his honey on February 14? What is the opposite of urine? ", She rolled her eyes and told me that one was a real stretch. 29. Whats Irish and stays out all night? Captain Hooky. ", Can anyone answer this riddle? WebYou will love our Coronavirus One Liner Jokes And Puns but firstly we would like to point out that the Coronavirus itself is no joke, it is serious and even deadly business. On that noteyou will love as well those butt bum jokes. 59. She goes to talk to her husband about it: Aunt: Yes. If I had legs, I'd kick your butt! What degree do you need to examine video urine samples made at various resolutions? Did you hear about the statistician who drowned while crossing a river? 3. Flush Gordon. But theyre a solid number 2. No? 5. Scientists have recently discovered a food that greatly reduces sex drive. 11 r/dadjokes 6 comments u/Beergelden The insomnia patient was such a fervent vegetarian that he counted carrots jumping over a fence. It was clogged. Doctors say 4 out of 5 people suffer with diarrhea. What do you call a chicken who crosses the road, rolls in the mud, and then crosses back again? Small son sitting on Daddys lap: Im still confused. What do you call a mobster whos buried in cement? Q. It runs in your genes. Darn tootin'! Q. We've been through a lot of shit together. Why did the toilet paper roll down the hill? I am Julia, I love to laugh and I love to make people laugh. Q. What do you call it when you piss down a slide? Why is the cat so grouchy? To get to the other side. Why did the lady stop telling poop jokes? Because it's also called a restroom! I proudly proclaimed Urine luck! A peeH.d. Poodini. A whizzard. Yeah, they got him on possession. WebThese are the best adult pirate jokes youll find. "Hi my name is Charmin and you must be the shit 'cause I want you all over me." Whats the best snack for watching a movie that sucks? A. Funny one-liners. A. Q. She said she felt like she might possibly have a UTI. The best way a cat knows how to keep law & order is with Claw Enforcement. There are some peeing tryed jokes no one knows ( to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud. Poop Puns One Liners. 1. Q. What do women and toilet paper have in common? What did one piece of toilet paper say to another? Dung. Q. I had to put my foot down. Thanks for coming! Dung-arees. It wasnt his doodie. What do you call crystal clear urine? A guy just found out you can sell sperm to a sperm bank. Why didn't the urology student finish his studies? Ha! says the barman. Too many cheetahs. 40. To prove he wasnt a chicken. Kids love knock knock jokes. What do you do if you find a bear using the toilet in your bathroom? A guy with explosive diarrhea was eager to tell a joke. Q. 86. 19. Whos there? 1. Did you hear about the constipated mathematician? 2. A. 97. At which school did Sherlock Holmes get so smart? What do you call a sorcerer who only deals in urine magic? Q. WebThe man says, imma just teac. 33. Whats big and brown and behind the wall? What do you call Santas helpers? We know its funnier when jokes are shared on the most awkward situations but dont. If you have to force it, its probably crap. Toilet paper. Whos there? Why did the toilet paper roll down the hill? Dropped a few dad jokes at t in the park last weekend, When did I stop sleeping with my ass in the air- 15, When did I stop dropping my pants and underwear to my ankles to pee at a urinal- 14. A. When the urinal said, "You're full of shit," what did the toilet say? Uncle: oh I'll deal with it. My lion impression went down well a roaring success. Anybody with you? They just wash up on shore. 6. The trots! the nurse who was chewed out by the doctor because she was absent without gauze? A. Piss Off. Knock, knock. What is the meaning of impotent? What happens if you miss the toilet while trying to take a pee? Because one guy likes it. Please add a link to this article. Are you the one who signed up for the pee club? 2. Q. Two men walk into a bar. What do you get when you accidentally take a poop in your overalls? After having a drink she says, "We should have this every night!". What is a urologist's favorite keyboard shortcut? The purrpatrator. Turns out he was full of shit. He looked down to the floor and said : it's running down my legs, A cop sees an old woman carrying two large sacks. Q. I love my toilet. Dereliction of doodie. The doctor told me she would have to take a urine sample. We were driving across state over the holidays and my 4 year old tells us she has to pee. He's 4 years old and walked into the kitchen while I was at my aunt and uncle's house. What do you get when blind guy tries to talk to you at a urinal? My uncle proceeded to laugh uncontrollably at his own joke while my four year old cousin stood there looking really confused and my aunt walked away with her arms crossed, angrily trying to hold back her laughter. Ill give you a chance to earn your money back, and more! I am terrified of people who urinate quietly. 3. Q. And I'm making dinner, so can you please deal with this? Anyway, just thought I would share. Children are like farts. Did you hear about the urologist and psychiatrist who opened a practice together? I hate spelling errors. We were driving across state over the holidays and my 4 year old tells us she has to pee. We still have more! Q. Funny One-Liners 1. Runs in the family. Sir Loin. What is the difference between a hematologist and a urologist? Because he was sitting on the deck. A. Nah, they always stink. We share them in our weekly newsletter. A meaty-urologist. We recommend our users to update the browser. Q. Why arent dogs good dancers? The man wen back to the other man and said, There is no hope, you will die., I hate it when people are at my house and ask do you have a bathroom? What answer Are they expecting no, we pee in the yard. Surely, kids will love it. Funny, its all over town. Best Poop Jokes and Puns. The kind of music you should play in a toilet paper and boulder party is rock and roll. The doctor will see you in a few minutes.. Author: punstoppable.com Date Published: 01/10/2021 Ratings: 4.42 Incidentally, he did have to pass a pee test to get his job. What does Woody say when he has bad gas? 51. 98. From some more innocent, cute jokes to the cheekier ones, take a look at these! 101 Jokes And One Liners For Kids! To look for Pooh! Wanna hear a poop joke? When a young adult goes to take a leak, does that mean they're a peenager? A. I had to text my wife about that one. I spotted a lion at the zoo the other day. 3. He man says yes, I'll give you an example. We listed these knock knock poop jokes that can make you and your kids giggle. Why did the toilet seat cry? You let it finish! 3. 2. We cant even get enough of the poop emoji because its disgustingly cute. I hear the class slowly fill with groans and "oh my god"s followed by some guilty chuckles. Gentlemen- whats a shortcut to not piss on the seat? How much did the pirate pay for his peg leg and hook? His kleptomania had gotten out of hand Q. Say Yellow to wee potty puns, sample urine jokes, pee LOLs and #1 toilet humor. Soon you'll be able to laugh, cough, sneeze and pee all at the same time. Weve also snuck in a few cringeworthy jokes among these funny one-liners, so be warned. What is the name of the surgery where a man gets a penis enlargement? Everyone told her that they stink. I took a selfie after my kidney removal surgery. What do you need in order to make a small fortune on Wall Street? Because if you fail it, urine trouble. We have a simple and elegant solution for you! 37. 95. I make celebrities look stupid and normal people look like celebrities.. What is funny however, is some of the madness going on in the world because of the Covid-19, the toilet paper hoarding, the stockpiling of groceries and don't forget the new Coronavirus Gentlemen- whats a shortcut to not piss on the seat? He set a new lap record. 'Cause it's just like rain with a little thunder. How many people does it take to make the bathroom smell? I was curious if this counts as "Dad Joke behavior" and if anyone else does this or has a dad that does it. Agent says alright deal. When I opened the door i felt a strange cool breeze and the light came on automatically and the ghostly sound stopped, terrified I did what I had to and went back to bed. It got stuck in the crack! We were driving across state over the holidays and my 4 year old tells us she has to pee. Nothing, it was on the house. A. the cow that ate bluegrass and mooed indigo? Darn tootin'! We try to find out what kids love. the cat who ate a ball of yarn? It's marketed under the name, Red Bull. 18. Only one, but he has to do it while you are eating dinner. Why is sperm white and urine yellow? If pooping is a call of nature. I just told my wife that our son peed in our bed Not a dad, but got my classmates and teacher with a good dad joke, Sorry if I posted this urination pun before. And to think, this is only the peeginning. . Why do men hate peeing in the child-sized urinals? Why did the parents not like their sons biology teacher? To return Click Here. What do you call diarrhea that you get from Dominos? Q. "Hi my name is Charmin and you must be the shit 'cause I want you all over me." Can't you pee that you're pissing your mother off? 88. A lot of people do have to urinate after a movie, and thus there is a long restroom line. Why couldnt the pirate play cards? To make it to the bottom! Friend of mine used to take a bit of pride in his job. What do snow and friends have in common? Q. Well, urine luck! Nobel. 93. Laugh more here: Funny and Flirty Woman Jokes. Little brother: I need to pee! When you combine two of the most funniest things you get poop one liners. A. The man starts peeing and pees all over his desk and the agent says I got you, he's laughing and happy that he final beat him, but then the lawyer has his hand on his face and the agent asked what's wrong with you and the lawyer replies the man bet me 100,000$ he could piss on your desk and you'd just love it. What does the receptionist at a sperm bank say to clients when they leave? 1. Why do pterodactyls pee on the side of the toilet bowl at night? Control freak. 3. Because there was a surprise birthday potty! An apostate feelin' your prostate. Captain Hooky. Did you hear about the shepherd who drove his sheep through town? Because the P is silent! Ha! says the barman. The IRS came to this mans house one day and told him to come in the next morning to talk about all the money thats been coming in and out of his bank account. What do fish say when they hit a concrete wall? 6. ), 50 Funny Bitcoin Jokes That Will Increase Your Investments. Q. 119 HILARIOUS Poop Jokes That Will Make Kids Laugh Out Loud! You blow me away. I pleaded, "no you have to come see, our bathroom is haunted by a ghost when I go in the middle of the night I can hear a ghost sound then when i open the door I feel the cold as it swoops through me and the light comes on automatically." Something is in the air and we dont like it. . The doctor will see you in a few minutes.. And then she giggles. I had to put my foot down. What happened after a truckload of Viagra was stolen? 23+ Hilarious Funny Clean Jokes that are beyond funny! Use these one liners at your own risk. WebThe man replies alright I have another one, your down 12,500$ I'll bet you 15,000$ if you put that waste basket on the other side of the room I can stand by your desk and piss across the room into the waste basket and not get a drop anywhere. If a lot of people have to urinate, a long line will tend to form. The man replies alright I have another one, your down 12,500$ I'll bet you 15,000$ if you put that waste basket on the other side of the room I can stand by your desk and piss across the room into the waste basket and not get a drop anywhere. Why can you never hear a pterodactyl using the toilet? 92. To get to the bottom! Why was six afraid of seven? 4. How much did Santa pay for his sleigh? We just happened to be almost to an exit with several gas stations to take her. What did the poop say to the fart? To make it to the bottom! How many egomaniacs does it take to screw in a light bulb? She started to cry and asked paddy: " Did he at least die quickly?" The next night I woke up I went into my parents room and woke my mom up and said, "you have to come with me and see this it's really important," Half asleep she murmured, "oh what is it can't it wait until the morning?' All they said was, Bach, Bach, Bach, 24. 6. Q. How many telemarketers does it take to change a light bulb? A. Euro peein'. Q. Uncle: Urine a lot of trouble mister. A gummy bear. the kid who started a business tying shoelaces on the playground? 'Cause that's where Coors is brewed. Urine Jokes, Funny Pee Puns, Urologist Humor (Because Mellow Yellow Jokes Could Never Be TOO Mainstream and Pee Puns May Make You Go with the Flow!) Whats happened Paddy?" 1. All these years he'd been letting potential income slip through his fingers. 43. What do women and toilet paper have in common? A. Did you know that diarrhea is hereditary? Everyones gonna take all the nasal spray from every store. Did you hear about the constipated movie? Required fields are marked *. What do hoppy craft beers and Canadian urinals have in common? Keep it flush with the wall. Because the P is silent. Q. 6. What do you call a guy whos had too much to drink? My IQ test results came back. WebA blonde woman came in for a routine physical at the doctors office. A. Urine Luck. Euro-pee-an! And while you're here, please take a moment to visit our sponsors: Pee Pee Jokes, Pissy Humor, Wee Wee Puns Urine Luck! Did you hear about the film 'Constipated'? Why did the toilet roll down the hill? A private tutor is a person who never farts in public. 77. 2. A. He was a lion thief. A. You'd better come inside, if you don't, urine trouble. 28. You cant believe everything you hearbut you can repeat it. 3. 89. I spent a lot of time, money, and effort childproofing my house but the kids still get in. Why shouldn't you be afraid to fart while you pee? When is the best time to go to the restroom?
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